Bridal/Wedding Showers
Wedding Shower Guest Etiquette
- Bring a gift if you are attending the party. You can choose something from the wedding registry or find something yourself. Generally shower gifts are less expensive than wedding gifts.
- Don't bring a gift that can't be opened in front of everyone or may be embarrassing.
- Don't give cash at a wedding shower.
Hostess Etiquette: Hosting the wedding shower
- Traditional etiquette says don't have a family member host your bridal shower unless they are also the honor attendant (Maid/Matron of Honor). But current trends dictate anyone close to the bride can host the shower. Family members may help behind the scenes with the shower and it is acceptable to hold it at a family member's house.
- The honor attendant is traditionally responsible for planning and hosting the wedding shower, however if they live far from the bride some one who lives closer can be designated the shower hostess. The designee should confer with the honor attendant on planning the shower.
Hostess Etiquette: Wedding Shower Guest List
- Etiquette dictates all guests who are invited to a traditional shower must also be invited to the wedding. In other words, don't invite people to the wedding shower who haven't already been invited to the wedding.
- It is not required to invite all attendees at a work place shower to the actual wedding. Showers at the bride's place of employment are typically arranged by co-workers and held at the work place. They are usually in addition to the formal wedding shower and held as a way for co-workers to celebrate since they most likely aren't all invited to the wedding.
- If the bride has multiple showers, don't invite the same guest to more than one party.
- Traditional wedding showers are women only however holding couples showers are increasing in popularity.
- Larger showers are becoming more common but if following the rules of etiquette, a party of no more than 10-20 is best. Keep the guest list to close friends and family.
- The bride's mother and groom's mother (as well as stepmothers on both sides) should always be invited to the shower. Sisters of the bride and groom are also traditionally invited.
Hostess Etiquette: Holding the Wedding Shower
- Showers can be held anywhere from six months to one week before the wedding, but having the party to close to the wedding can be stressful on the bride. Holding the shower four to six weeks before the big day is the best bet.
- Traditionally, showers are surprises. But it's not mandatory it be a surprise. Whether or not it's a surprise depends on the bride and hostess.
- Pick a day and time that will work for the majority of guests, typically a weekend. Any time of the day is acceptable, however afternoons on a weekend and evenings on a weekday usually work best for guests.
- There are no rules on where to hold a shower. It depends on the needs and wants of the bride, along with the budget of the hostess. Who ever hosts the shower takes care of the expenses.
- Guests to a shower should never have to pay for their own meal.
- Games are often played at a shower to provide something for guests to do and break the ice. If games are played, prizes should be given.
Hostess Etiquette: Wedding Shower Invitations
- Send invitations enough in advance to allow people to plan on attending, usually four to six weeks before the shower date for in-town guests and six to eight weeks before the shower date for out of town wedding guests. Ask for an RSVP by two weeks before the shower.
- Invitations should include the date, time, length of shower, who is invited (whether or not kids are invited), name of bride and groom, registry information, map to location, theme if applicable, and RSVP instructions.
- Follow the same rules that apply to wedding invitation when sending shower invitations: Each guest gets an invitation, hand address the invitations, use formal names (Mr., Mrs., Miss, Ms.).
Bride Etiquette
- Don't host your own shower. Do we even have to say why?
- The bride should send a Thank You note to ever guest who gave a gift and to the hostess. Send these out within a couple weeks of when the shower was held.
- Make Thank Yous hand written.
