Wedding Invitations
Most people having formal or semi-formal weddings opt for traditional wedding invitations. You know, the fancy-smancy kind with all the tissue, envelopes, and swirly writing. However, choosing a different kind of invitation is not "wrong" according to the rules of wedding etiquette. Your invitation should make you happy and be reflective of your style and the celebration you will have. Bear in mind most listed rules of etiquette for wedding invitations have been derived from long standing traditions and are most applicable to formal celebrations.
- Only send invitations to people who you want to attend the wedding. Everyone else (and those who couldn't attend) get an announcement. You don't need to send announcements to those who received an invitation (usless they were unable to attend and you want to then send an annoucement).
- Write the names of people in full. Use middle names if you know what they are, if not opt to leave out middle names all together in lieu of just initials.
- Spell out all words on the invitation that might normally be abbreviated or numeric such as the date, year, time of day, street, road, avenue, and similar. A couple exceptions to this rule are to use St. instead of Saint and Mt. instead of Mount in addresses.
- While traditional invitations abbreviate nothing, you might want to use the normal alpha-numeric method for addressing the outer envelope. Spelling out numeric addresses, street abbreviations, and states can cause a delay in delivery where as it may require special processing at the post office.
- When a person's name includes a number (such as "Jim Bob the second"), use roman numerals (Jim Bob II) instead of words or other denotation.
- No punctuation is used except after titles such as Mr. and Mrs. And the commas between the day and date and/or city and state.
- When writing dates, the date follows the day (for example - Sunday, the fifth of September) and you don't need to include the year. If the year is included it should be spelled out like the date.
- Times are spelled out and should use wording such as afternoon, morning, evening, etc. instead of AM and PM. Use wording such as half past, half after, quarter after, etc. to denote minutes such as :30 or :15. Instead of writing something like "five thirty in the evening" for 5:30 PM, use "half past five in the evening" or similar.
- The name of the wedding location (along with the city and state) appears on the invitation but the physical address does not.
- Traditionally, formal invitations are written in third person, i.e. use "Mr. and Mrs." instead of "We".
- The first line of the invitation typically recognizes the names of the sponsors of the wedding (sponsor does not have to be who is paying for the wedding) and then invites the guests to the event. For example if the bride's parents where sponsoring the wedding the first line of the invitation might read "Mr. and Mrs. Bobblehead request the honour of your presence" or "Mr. and Mrs. Bobblehead request the pleasure of your company". If both sets of parents or other relatives sponsor, list them all. If the bride and groom foot the bill for the wedding themselves, etiquette dictates that no parents should be listed anywhere on the invitation.
- If the ceremony is to take place in a religious location, use the wording "request the honour of your presence." in your invitation. If the ceremony will take place in a non-religious setting, use "request the pleasure of your company" or "request the honour of your company" in your invitation.
- On the line that includes the bride's name, her surname is usually excluded unless both sets of parents are listed as sponsors or her last name differs from her parents that are listed.
- Using either "honour/favour" (British/more formal version) or "honor/favor" (American/more contemporary version) is acceptable.
- The only things that are capitalized are proper nouns (names of people, places, days of week, month, etc.), the year line (Two thousand--), or when the noun starting the line begins a new sentence or thought.
- The best way to let guests know the children are not welcome at the wedding is by word of mouth. If you want to state it in the invitation, the correct way to do so according to etiquette rules is to word the reception card with "Adult reception" or ask for the "Number of adults" on the RSVP card. Also address the invitation to "Mr. and Mrs." Instead of "The Fillinblank Family" if you don't want kids to attend.
- Don't list "Black tie" on your invitations. Typically, weddings held after 6:00pm are assumed to be Black tie. You can make Black tie a footnote on the reception card if you feel it is necessary to list.
- DO NOT list wedding registries on wedding invitations. Save that for word of mouth, wedding websites, and shower invitations.
- Anything goes with the wording on contemporary invitations, use a mushy rhyme, first person, fun slang — whatever makes it uniquely yours. Just make sure the date, time, location, and other important details are clearly stated and you don't list gift registries.
- Traditional invitations are printed on ecru/cream colored heavy weight paper in black ink with an engraved or script font style. They are usually oversized and have a tissue sheet that lays over the invitation. The invitation and layover are typically placed inside an envelope (inner envelope), which is then placed inside another envelope (outer envelope) that is addressed to the guest. The traditional invitation also includes a response card and reception card.
- Contemporary invitations often exclude the inner envelope.
- Contemporary invitations are fast increasing in popularity. These invitations often include the same items as traditional versions (the invitation, tissue, reception/RSVP cards, maps, etc) but are usually printed in non-traditional fonts on colored or patterned card stock. The possibilities are endless. Contemporary invitations utilize creativity and stylish design to create truly unique invitations that reflect the couple's style in a way that utilizes current graphical and design trends as opposed to standard traditional themes.
- The return address on the outer envelope is traditionally printed on the envelope flap. Usually, the address is that of the host (i.e. the bride's parent or similar) and does not include names, just the address. Guests who are unable to attend the wedding may send gifts to this address so make sure it's a place you want your gifts to be received at.
- It's suggested to include along with your invitation a map and directions to the ceremony and reception. It's also nice to include accommodations cards (listing information for local hotels) for out of town guests.
- The response card (RSVP) sent with the invitation can come in many forms (hand written, printed, fold over, double sided, etc) but should definitely be included and needs to be sent with a pre-addressed and stamped envelope so guests can easily get it back to you. Traditionally, the response return envelope is addressed with the host's address. If you are following strict etiquette rules, the bride and groom's names should not appear together (as in an address) until after the wedding. If there is no host or the couple wants to receive the cards themselves, address the return address to the bride only.
- Reception cards are only needed when the reception will be held at a location different from the ceremony, or if only certain people are invited to the reception. Include a pre-addressed and stamped envelope with the card.
- Reception and RSVP cards are generally printed on the same paper as the invitation but are approximately half the size.
